After so reviewing so many shitty Mexican restaurants I’ve decided to review a place that actually slaps.
I walk up at 4:45 pm to miss the crowd. How the fuck are there so many people here at 4:45 already. Door man had a bandaid like Nelly. I didn’t want to ask him about it. My friend was a little upset that the hostess didn’t smile at him.
I see some Dave chihuly ass marg pitchers and I know what I need. one of these 16 bartenders make the wrong marg and the waitress let us keep it. Maybe they know a paulhub exclusive is in the works. Raspberry marg is fuckin gas. It’s thick like a milkshake. I’m getting out of breath suckin this straw. Next I got the skiny marg and am not feeling this body shamed drink. But fuck I ordered knowing this.
Bathroom. I knew it was the bathroom because the Duck taped men’s restroom sign on the wall. Inside the music was way too loud. I had a hard time pissing cause I felt like Coldplay was yelling at me. While pissing I got to read about their tequila shot rewards program here. I feel good about that. Soap came out of a machine. I couldn’t dry my hands
Chips and salsa. I’m not impressed by the visuals of these chips but Fuck they good. Warm and seasoned Salsa is has a spicy kick. Probably did not come from a jar. I’m enjoying taking these fat scoops of salsa to burn my tongue then sucking down marg. We are to chickenshit to ask if more chips and salsa are free
Enchiladas. Smoked chicken really has that smoke taste. Not like I’m eating a chewed up black n mild, but like they put some damn work in it. Green tomatillo sauce is hot fire. Enchiladas so good I keep forgetting I have rice and beans. Why is everything so spicy. Rice and beans don’t have much going on
Tacos. Spicy chicken is banging. Don’t break when I eat them 10/10. Gotta go back to the menu to figure out what I’m eating. They get bonus points for filling up the tacos a lot
Taquitos. Could use a bit more flavor. Thought the sauce was going to be more spicy. It’s some marinara shit? The waitress looks like the girl scott pilgrim had to fight and she oversold it. Tried it myself and thought it was solid
Verdict: 9.7 casa bonitas / 10
