The coronavirus (thanks 5G) has taken over the country and our PNW governors have closed the dining rooms across countless family casual mexican restaurants in WA and OR. hoy, we dip across the SE border (into oregon, no wall) to enjoy takeout at Ixtapa in the Dalles.
Aestetic: cholo guy fieri aestetics. beautiful paintings all over this place, makes me wish we sat in here instead of on the rock plains. One cannot turn their eyes away from the Ixtapa opus day, a beautiful chiquita carrying 7 ears of corn over a mexican landscape accented by mount hood. Here in the Ixtapa, art and fantasy await at every turn of the head
Bathrooms: good soap, dim lighting, hot water. Could I wash a viral species off my hands in here? probably? It would be peaceful to take a bath in here.
Takeout thoughts. No knives is a community grievance, really needed them. Big portions were nice. the sky looked like it didnt render properly
plains of Rohan, East WA.
Dilla - fine, but was not cut. provided a constant reminder that a quesadilla is a form of sandwich, Had to be folded up and eaten like a taco because no plastic knives. Good guac.
Chips and salsa - standard. don’t have good things to say about the salsa. Too much ragu. the chips did not taste any better after being refrigerated.
Fried burrito - Both of these fucking dudes thought they were getting fried chicken in their burrito for some reason. Description should be “Chicken burrito, fried”. There’s no fried bullshit in this burrito, just a fried tortilla. There’s some dispute going on of which burrito components were actually fried. Clearly not the sour creme. Moist.
Burrito vegetal - good, classic, a little watery, guac and pinto beans were high points. Mushrooms were cut thick.
Chimichanga was under salted. Or maybe it’s a chalupa? What’s the difference?
Chicken ranchero - greasy boy that I didn’t need but it was goddamn filling. a solid two-mealer. Refried beans are a concerning shade of white beneath the melted cheese
Asada - I should have had a knife. Four tortillas was good, but the meal was kinda average. A solid positive on the tortilla. $20 was a lil steep.
Dessert: the gumballs at the dispenser here were GAS. I've never chewn a quarter-machine gumball and thought to myself "damn these taste fresh" before this experience.
second dessert - andes mints. Have you ever thought you shit yourself, but didnt shit yourself? dont leave andes mints in your pocket on a warm spring day. cleaning supplies are hard to find these days. the worst part was I didnt even get to eat any of the chocolate :(
Final thoughts: 4.5 chocolate car fobs out of 10. tasted like a Mexican restaurant in the Dalles, better than Mexican restaurants in England. standard to meh, yet comfortingly familiar, experience inspite of these trying times
