[Orlando] Mexico - D*sney Food and Wine Festival

Here I am at the happiest place on earth. All day ive been avoiding collision with the sat of the earth in their motor scooters. We arrive in Mexico world surrounded by 23 year olds, bachelorettes but it’s ok. I’ve been a little tipsy since Ireland.

Bathrooms. What the fuck does Donald Duck have to do with Mexico? God I have to piss but Epcot has three bathrooms. If I drink a corona in Mexico I shouldn’t have to go to Norway to piss it out. I’m doing my best to hold it in.

Margs - came out with a nipple on top. I got no salt on the rim. THANK GOD the one with salt tasted like old bay. There is some Neil patrick Harris mix drink for $30 I’m not interested in.

Went to the tequila cave. Long line and I was told not to pee in the bushes. Maybe $400 later the part releases from the cave quite roasted.

Tacos trio - better than expected. Could have had more food. What kind of flavor? Smokey? Chile? Dry ass chicken.

Chips and guac. Guac is ok. At least it’s not some Costco shit. Chips are atrocious like dear god Disney could have stock up on $1.99 juanitas and slayed this but they are giving people sub-Tostitos level corn

Empanada con quest. Surprisingly good texture and consistency. Rice and beans undercooked. Overpriced but I liked that. They were better than I expected. The key to enjoying your food at Epcot is low expectation

Pollo Costco ball - what do you think about it? No response. I wouldn’t order this at a Mexican restaurant.

Nachos - jalapeños give it a nice kick. A step up from typical Naxos however it lacked what I needed to give it a W over Taco Bell.

Barbados taco - the taco was the right size. What kind of fucking feedback is this? “Barbacoa slivers we’re the right size so that they didn’t stick in my teeth” thanksdawg

I smell, but everyone else does too. Probably a plus that I havnt had to use the bathroom through this eating experience.

5.5 Ron DeSantis out of 10